I was late getting to church on the morning of my ceremony
Stayed up too late the night before from fingering foreign dirty holes in the dark
The morning sun blinded my eyes and made my skin look pale and tainted in light
And there were steps to climb as I unloosened my tie
As I began to walk the aisle the congregation looked behind
But I continued past the pews and met my angel in a suit with a smile
And as I looked him in the eye I heard my best friend cry
That we aren't fools to fall in love but let 'coupledom' die
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
The minister was drunk and high from his rewrite of holy verse with more lies
But the organist she played with a tenacity and grace that was fine
The whole room was filled with the thunder and flood
Of just one chord; the thrill and clarity of sound
But soon the song went slowly dead and I was forced to take a stand on one side:
It was him or my fag hag, oh well, I guess she was never that good of a friend
After my fag hag friend had fled the minister looked mighty fed and content
We said his rewritten vows that I could hardly pronounce
but was soon drowned out by that organ and the shout of
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
The congregation, stunned and dumbed, looked upon me with an innocuous stare
I wept and on my knees I prayed that there be truth and there be light in my day
In my hung-over daze I felt the thunder of God
It was the orders that I take the wrath upon my own rod
Then I repeated my own vows, they were perverted and they smelled of myself
"That there is splendor in the harshness of bum
that consummation makes a grumble and the sound that I have learned called:
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban marriage
Ban it all